iLost My Friend
by pickaxe881978
Summary: One of Freddie's friends and coworker does something that most people would consider unthinkable.


_**This story is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine that took his own life. Suicide is a very serious subject and should not be taken lightly. If you or someone you know has been thinking about suicide, PLEASE reach out for help.**_

 _Freddie is sitting in his office waiting for the end of the day. One of his friends Michael knocks on the door and pokes his head into Freddie's office._

"Hey Freddie, you got a minute" he asked. "Sure Mike, come on in" he said waving his friend in. Michael sat down in one of the chairs opposite of Freddie. "So what's on your agenda for the weekend" he asked Freddie. "Well Sam and I have her family reunion on Saturday but nothing else, why you got something in mind" he asked his friend. "N-no nothing particular" he replied. Freddie could swear that Mike had a look of sadness on his face for a brief moment before it was quickly replaced with his typical bright and happy smile. "Well it's almost 5:00 and I don't want to keep you, I'll see you Monday" he said as he turned to leave. Freddie almost stopped him but didn't "see you Monday" he said.

Over the weekend Freddie couldn't help but think about what had happened with Mike on Friday, but he wasn't sure what to make of it. Mike always seemed to be so happy but for that split second it looked as though he had a huge weight on his shoulders. Maybe he was just having a bad day and it was at that time that it showed up, whatever it was Freddie decided he would keep an eye on his friend.

Over the next few weeks everything seemed completely normal with Mike, there were no changes in his personality. Every time Freddie talked to him he always smiled and even had the same hardy laugh he was known for. While this did more to make Freddie believe that he had just had that one bad day, he still was not 100 percent sure. Freddie decided that he, Mike and their friend Jack needed to go out and do something seeing as how they hadn't done anything fun for a long time. Freddie picked up the phone and called Jack and after a few minutes they had come up with a few things to do and all that needed to be done was to talk to Mike.

By midweek Freddie, Mike and Jack had planned out what they would be doing on Saturday. First they would meet up at a local place for breakfast, then head out to an indoor go kart track for some racing, then go to Bill and Custer's where they would end up eating lunch and playing the arcade games for a while and finally they would head out to play some paintball. Friday came and the three of them were sitting down for lunch "are you guys ready for tomorrow" Freddie asked them. Jack answered first "Oh yeah, this is going to be great" he said. Mike chimed in as well "yeah, this is going to be excellent" he told them.

Saturday morning came around and Freddie, Mike and Jack were sitting around the table eating breakfast and talking about work and their families. "This week was great, the new code I've been working on is finally done and approved" Freddie told them. Jack chimed in next "yeah the GUI that my team has been working on is finally done too". Mike looked at both Freddie and Jack "yeah that's all well and good for you two, but my team is still trying to debug the new OS, this will probably take a while" he said. All three of them chuckled and continued to eat and talk about other things currently going on in their lives. About 30 minutes later they all got into Freddie's car and headed towards the go-kart track.

The trip to the go-kart track took 30 minutes and they got there just as they opened. The three friends already had reservations and they were set to race as much as they wanted to. The trio raced for over three hours and even though they had never raced go karts they were all really good at it. After getting out of the racing gear and paying for their time, they headed out to Freddie's car. "Man that was great" Freddie said once they were back into the car. "Oh yeah…that rocked" replied Jake. "I haven't had that much fun in a very long time" Mike chimed in.

The three friends arrived at Bill and Custer's and found a table near the entrance to the arcade. While they waited for their food to arrive the conversation again returned to work. "You guys know that management position that opened up in my group" Mike asked. Jack and Freddie both nodded their heads. Mike smiled "I put in for the position and, I got it. I start on Monday" he told them. Both Freddie and Jack smiled and congratulated Mike on his promotion. Their food arrived and after finishing up they hit up the arcade for a few hours before heading out to the paintball field. Once again the trio had a great time and when their time was up they were covered in paint and extremely tired. They loaded up into Freddie' car one last time and headed back to the restaurant so Jack and Mike could get their cars and head home.

"Well guys I had a great time today. I'll see you guys at the office on Monday" Freddie said as Mike and Jack got out of the car. "That was so much fun…we need to do it again sometime" Jack said looking at his watch "I better get going…see you guys on Monday" he said as he waved to his friends and then headed to his car. Both Freddie and Mike waved to Jack as he pulled out of the parking lot. "I had great time today Freddie, thank you for the invite" Mike said. "Well we haven't done anything for a while and I figured it was past time for us to hang out" Freddie responded. Mike smiled "I'll see you at work…and tell Sam I said hi" he said before heading to his car. "Will do, see you Monday" Freddie said as he waited until Mike had pulled out of the parking lot before heading home himself.

 _Six months later._

Sam is sitting on the couch watching TV when her phone rings, she looks and sees that it's Freddie. "Hey babe what's up" she asks. "Have you heard anything from Mike lately" he asked in a very worried tone. Sam slightly confused by both the tone of his voice and the question responded "no I haven't, why Freddie what's going on" she asked. "Mike didn't come into work today" he said. "It's probably nothing, he's probably home sick" Sam responded. "No he isn't Sara called looking for him. She hadn't been able to get ahold of him all day" he told her. "Did you guys try tracking his phone" she asked. "Yeah that was one of the first things we tried but it's either turned off or broken" he said. "Is there anything I can do" Sam asked now very worried herself. "I don't think so, but if he does happen to contact please let me know as soon as possible" he said. "Of course, and you do the same. Love you babe, bye" she said. "Love you too, bye" he said hanging up.

The search for Mike was not going well, people were looking everywhere for him, but they were running out of places to look. Everyone at the office was worried about him and they were constantly checking in with Freddie to see if there was any new information about their friend and coworker. Freddie's phone rang at 3:00, he saw it was Sara, he answered the phone and a hysterical Sara was on the other end "oh my god Freddie, he-he took it" she said. "He took what Sara" he asked. "He took his-his. He took his gun" she said crying. Freddie's mouth dropped at what she had said and what the implications of that statement were. "Sara do you have any other ideas about where he might go" he asked her. "Yes, there is a set of woods that he loved to visit, they're about an hour away from here" she told him. Freddie grabbed a note pad "give me directions on how to get there" he told her.

Freddie hung up with Sara, tore the page with the directions she had just given him and walked out of his office. Everyone was gathered around hoping for some good news, which Freddie unfortunately did not have. "Sara gave me one more place to look, I'm going to head out there, but it's about an hour away" he said fighting away tears. Jack came up to him "I'm going with you" he said with a look of determination on his face. Freddie wasn't in the mood to argue and wanted to get going as soon as possible "alright let's go. If we find him we will call and let you know" he said as the two were heading out the door. They jumped into Freddie's car and sped off. The trip should have taken an hour to get there, but it only took them half that time.

Freddie had filled in Jack on the call from Sara and the fact that Mike had taken his gun. They both knew what they might find when or if they find their friend. As they pulled into the parking area for the wooded area they saw Mike's car. They started down the one lone trail into the woods calling out their friend's name. They hadn't gone very far down the trail when Jack thought he saw something "hey, I think I see something, come on" he said as he took off running. Freddie followed him hoping that they would find Mike alive, but from his vantage point he couldn't see anything. They ran for what seemed like forever but was really less than a minute before Jack came to an abrupt stop. Freddie almost ran into him because of the sudden stop. "Oh my God!" Jack said his eyes filling with tears. Freddie moved up to his side and the site that greeted him was one he had hoped he would not see. "MIKE, NO!" he yelled running over to his friend's body, but it was too late. Freddie could now see what had happened, he could see that his friend had put the gun up to his temple and pulled the trigger.

Both men were a mix of emotions including sadness, anger and confusion. Jack pulled out his phone and called the police and Freddie pulled out his phone and made a call he never wanted make. Sara's phone was ringing but she didn't hear it, she looked down at it and saw that Freddie was calling. She answered "Freddie, did you find Mike" she asked cautiously. It took Freddie a few seconds to get his voice to work "yes, we found him" he told her but she knew by the tone of his voice that it was not good. "Sara, I am so sorry" he said pausing "he-he was already gone by the time we got here" as soon as those words left his mouth Sara completely lost any composure she had. "Jake has called the police and they are on their way. We're going to stay here until they arrive. Once they do we're going to head back and come get you" he said unsure if she had even heard him.

Freddie was still on the phone with Sara when the police and paramedics arrived. Jack showed them where Mike's body was and then he came back to Freddie. "Sara, the police and paramedics have arrived. Jack and I are going to come get you ok" he told her. Sara numbly said "Ok" and then she hung up. On the way back to Seattle Freddie called Sam to let her know what had happened and that he and Jack were going to get Sara. Once he finished his call to Sam, he called the office "Freddie, what's going on, did you find Mike" asked the receptionist. "Listen Jill, do me a favor, gather everyone up in the conference room and the transfer me there and put me on speaker phone. I want to make sure everyone hears this at the same time" he told her. Jill hesitated for a moment "will do Freddie, give me a minute to get everyone in there" she said as she put him on hold.

Jill had gotten everyone into the large conference room and transferred Freddie to the speakerphone. "Ok Freddie everyone is here and you're on the speaker" she told him. "Thank you Jill" he said taking a deep breath before continuing "this is going to be difficult to say…we did find Mike" he paused trying to catch his breath "unfortunately by the time we got to him, he had already taken his own life" he said. He could hear multiple gasps and then people crying. "I think given the circumstances that everyone there should go home and be with your families. Also the office will stay closed the rest of the week. Jack and I are going to pick up Sara right now" he told them still fighting to keep the tears at bay until the call was done. Freddie heard the distinct click of being taken off of the speaker "I'll make sure everyone gets out of here" Jill told him. "Thanks Jill" he said before hanging up.

The rest of the night was a blur. By the time everything was taken care of at least for the meantime and Freddie got home it was well after midnight. As he opened the door he saw Sam asleep on the couch. He smiled and quietly closed the front door. He walked over to the couch, leaned down and picked up Sam to take her to the bedroom. Once in the bedroom he placed her down on their bed and pulled the covers up. He then walked over to his side of the bed and got undressed. He climbed into bed and was about lie down when Sam woke up "Hey your home. Are you ok" she asked with a great deal of concern in her voice. He lowered his head and shut his eyes to keep from crying for what seemed like the millionth time tonight "I'm ok" he told her. "How's Sara holding up" she asked him. "Well she seemed to be doing at least somewhat ok when we dropped her off, but I'm not sure it has completely sunk in yet either" he responded.

The funeral had been a beautiful and very touching one, everyone from the office was there. When the officiant asked for people to share a memory of Mike, everyone took a turn. Of course everyone was still in shock and wondered what had caused their friend to take his own life. Freddie and Sam were the last ones to come up to speak to speak to Sara. Sam looked at Freddie and he nodded knowing that she wanted to talk to Sara by herself. "Hi Sara" Sam said as she took her hand. "Hi Sam, I'm so glad that you could come" she said as tears welled up in her eyes. Sam put her hand on Sara's shoulder "There is no way I wouldn't be here for you" Sam told her as she hugged her. It was at this point that everything finally broke and Sara began to sob uncontrollably, Sam simply let her cry on her shoulder.

After a few minutes Sara started to compose herself and as she let go of Sam she whispered "thank you". Sam simply nodded "any time Sara and if you ever need anything you let us know" she said as Freddie came up behind her. "She's right Sara, no matter what or when, all you need to do is call us" he said. Sara looked at the both of them and actually gave a small but genuine smile "Freddie, I-I want you to know that Mike thought of both of you as a part of the family…and well so do I" she told them. Freddie couldn't help but smile "I know and we always considered him a part of our family as well" he paused and lowered his eyes "a part that will be greatly missed but also cherished" he told her as his voice began breaking and tears welled in his eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. He moved closer to Sara and hugged her "we're all going to miss him" he told her as he released their hug. "I know" was all she could say.

Shortly after everyone had left Sara was walking around the funeral home looking at all the pictures and such of Mike. She stopped at the large picture of him and stared at it for a few minutes. At first she was saddened by it, but then she felt herself becoming angry "damn it Mike how could you do this to me" she started sobbing again "it wasn't supposed to be like this we were supposed to be together for a long time. We were supposed to have a family, but now that won't happen" she paused for a moment "Mike, how am I going to survive without you? You've been there for me more times than I can remember. Why didn't you come to me I would have been there for you" she said as much for herself as for Mike. A couple of the funeral home employees come in to start taking things down. Sara sighed and walked out to her car to head back to her now very empty house.

 _One year later._

Life had for the most part returned to normal. Sara sold the house that she had lived in with Mike a few months after his death and moved into a little two bedroom apartment, she had also found that the hurt and sadness had faded slightly over time but didn't think that it would ever completely go away. Freddie and Jack had decided that on their friend's birthday they would do something to remember him. Once all of Mike's friends at the office found out about this they all jumped at the chance to join in so they could remember their friend.


End file.
